Good things about cancer - yes, there are some!

1. It makes you reexamine your life.

Being that I'm already very healthy (except for the whole cancer thing), I didn't really learn a lesson about eating better. I didn't get cancer from smoking. I didn't get cancer from being overweight. I've always thought the best way to eat, both health-wise and karma-wise, is vegan, and, even though I haven't always strictly followed this, I've always eaten lots of fruits and veggies and my only "meat" is fish a few times a week.

My reexamination is based upon stress. I believe that the huge stress from a very difficult breakup five years ago started the cancer in my body. Cancer typically takes five years to form a substantial tumor that you can feel. So, as a result, I've started walking a little slower, breathing a little deeper, and generally giving myself a break. No more guilt that I'm not getting as many papers graded as I could or that I'm not working on my novel as much as I should or that my apartment isn't as clean as possible or my dogs aren't getting a long enough walk. It's okay to not be the best at everything at every moment. Cancer feeds off the stress and I'm over feeding cancer. As a side note to the ladies, cancer was also feeding off the birth control pills that I'd been taking, mostly to help with migraines, since I was sixteen. The estrogen in the pill fed my estrogen-receptor positive tumor. So, if there are any women reading this that are taking the pill, I would encourage you to look into other options.

2. It frees you from inhibitions.

I had no idea that a side effect of cancer is acting like Natalie Portman's character from Garden State. As someone who has never thought too much about what other people think of her, I really didn't think I had any inhibitions to lose. I was wrong. Strangely, any free-spirited, spontaneous thought that runs through my mind, I feel the need to act upon. Skip down the sidewalk? Sure. Sing on the BART train? Absolutely. Finding fun in any and every activity? Definitely. Don't get me wrong - I still am a cynical smartass at times, but I now realize how completely important it is to actively look for as many beautifully fun moments during the day as possible. Life is not just short; it's tiny. If life was a person, it would have its own show on TLC for being freakishly small. So, if cancer wants you to be cute indie-girl movie cliche, go for it.

3. It teaches you that life doesn't give a s@#t about your plans.

I've learned this lesson nearly every day; really, everyone has. If I plan a lesson that uses a movie clip and the projector doesn't work, lesson learned. But for the big things, dreams with a spouse, dreams of having children, I've learned that even seemingly simple life goals can be destroyed, or at least royally hindered, in the blink of an eye. A close friend, who is a psychiatrist, told me once that the healthiest people (in terms of mental health) are those with a flexible mind. Ones who can adapt and adjust when their lives don't go according to plan. My own version of this is to allow myself to have a breakdown, mourn the dreams that need to die, and then look in the mirror, tell myself to pull it together and plant the seeds for new dreams. More recently, I've even kind of given up on dreams altogether, which I've realized may be the best solution. It doesn't mean I've given up on life or the search for love or the idea of a family, just the perfect fictional version that was always so important.

4. It's a great get-out-of-everything free card.

What was that, you'd like me to make a casserole for your party? Oh, I don't think I can, it's the cancer. Sorry.

This question was never actually posed to me, however there have been plenty of situations that call for me to say no because of the cancer. Since I've had surgery, I've been very tired and can't handle as much work. And, anticipating six months of feeling like hell because of chemotherapy, I'm not going to be able to function at my usual daily tasks, let alone taking on extra work or social events. Unfortunately, I'm going to miss out on some great opportunities, but I'm also going to get out of a lot of bullsh*t that I don't want to do.

Want me to help clean up the cafeteria after the dance? I'm sorry I can't. Haven't you heard? I have cancer.

**If anyone from school is reading this, I want to emphasize that this was only an example. Of course, I would love nothing more than to stay and help clean up after the dance!

I also think there should be some additional perks to this card - free drinks (while I still can have a drink), discounts on health food and scarves for my soon-to-be bald head, handicap parking, the list goes on and on. And, instead of a physical card, an iPhone app would be preferable. Get on that, Mr. Zuckerberg!

If I find there are more good things, I will add them.

By the way, even though I've done a "good things" list, don't be fooled. A "things that suck" list would be much, MUCH longer.